I've spent most of my life in this dilemma... only the last half of it really AWARE of the situation. Until I moved here, I was surrounded by planning books, calendars, notes, lists and even a few electronic "reminders." Most of every day was committed to making sure it all happened, mostly unable to say NO to those who asked or even those who merely were there and needed things they didn't demand.

When I came to Wyoming I had to learn a whole new way to approach life and how to use better the precious few moments we have available in each day.

The move itself eliminated more than half of the perceived "obligations." Distance alone dictated that I could no longer be as available to even my family. I retired from nursing, and eliminated a massive chunk of responsibility for satisfying other people.

Yet I still struggle with it, and often take on more than I should. Each time I get bogged down in obligations and find myself unable to follow through as seems right, I have to sit back, re-evaluate the whole picture and take steps not to commit to so much the next time. Sometimes I can actually make myself call, apologize, admit that I took on too much and renege... But I hate when that happens!

Guess what I'm saying is that most people who are at all conscientious about life and their commitments/relationship to others have at least some of this problem, at least some of the time. Those who care about you, and know you care... are not going to throw stones. Anyone else might just not be worth worrying about.

Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself - and therefore to those who love you - is to say, "No. I'm sorry, but I can't do that."