I’ve been thinking a fair bit about Pint of Stout’s upcoming thought–party, An Inquiry into the Soul. Although I’m not sure how to accomplish it just yet, I hope to contribute. Then, The Shadow’s Thoughts on Ataraxia veered my rambling ideas into a related (but only tangentially) direction: what is a successful life?
Speaking from a purely biological perspective, a successful life is one that perpetuates its genes. But that seems a very limited view of success, even for those who have children. Surely there’s more to success than reproducing. Others see success in attaining power, and/or money, but neither of those have much appeal for me. Knowledge used to be important, until I realized that much of what passes for knowledge and education today is indoctrination and superstition, albeit more sophisticated because of our technological advances. The Shadow’s list yesterday hit home for me, however; and then, this morning, I watched the vid he pointed to (by some strange miracle of inaction, I can see YouTube vids again). One thing he included parenthetically in his essay turns out to be crucial to attaining happiness in Epicurus’ view—that being sharing one’s life with friends.
That’s been a very important thing to me for as long as I can remember—and it is of course a challenge right now as I’m on the brink of leaving an area where there are several people I have come to care for deeply. Probabilistically, it’s a good bet that I will never see at least one of them again in my life, and that’s a very sad thought for me. But I also can’t live my life for another, no matter how much I love that other person—and that most certainly includes my children. How can I be a good parent if my example tells them others are more important than oneself? Thankfully, the internet allows friends to stay in touch irrespective of geographical distance ... but that isn’t the same. Relationships necessarily and inevitably change with distance.
The attentive reader may have noticed that I moved from considering “success” to “happiness”. That isn’t entirely an unintended consequence of my rambling mind: to me, happiness is a large component of success. Where’s the joy in working hard to accumulate lots of colored pieces of rectangular paper that are only “valuable” as long as others agree that they are? I don’t see it, although I do understand that for whatever time remains in the charade, those colored pieces of paper can make some elements of modern, civilized life easier. How happy can one be if he’s so concerned about others’ opinions of and willingness to obey and follow him that his family and friends become virtual strangers? I do not understand how a life can be considered successful if it focuses on things more than people, or treats people as commodities, or stairs to be climbed on the way “up”.
Few of us will create something new, or think something so original that our names will not be lost to the ages after we’re gone. Whether we have children or not, I think we will be remembered primarily for how we treated others, especially those closest to us. With people I care about spread across at least three continents, there’s no hope that all of them could come together some place and form a self-sufficient anarchistic tribe. Thus, for me, I will consider my life a success if I am thought of as a person who respected others, and who brought more happiness than pain to others’ lives. That may not sound like much, but I agree with Epicurus: simplicity is a key to happiness.
What’s your answer to the question?
What Is a Successful Life?
Difficult.....
Randy Pausch in his Last Lecture (highly recommended) considers both happiness and success to be enabling others to achieve their dreams. His methods of achieving happiness have nothing to do with simplicity.
I am unclear on what success is. Likewise happiness. For us (my wife and I) a relatively "simple" life has certainly brought contentment. We are very satisfied with our life the way it is. OTOH is is clear that our 15 year old daughter is not. This life is way too boring for her. Until a few years ago I would have agreed with her.
"Simple" is also difficult to quantify. We have books, computers, electricity, running water (with solar heating), backup power, a car, etc, etc, etc. Even our efforts in organic gardening and animal husbandry rely heavily on the Internet for information and sometimes products. Our life is amazingly complex compared to that of even a present day subsistence farmer.
Are we happier than we were before we adopted this lifestyle? I think not. In general we have always been satisfied with things. Sure, at times, especially when dealing with a difficult client, things were less than optimal. But we always learned from those experiences. As a general rule we did not let "work" interfere with "life". I would find the time to cook, we would find the time to spend together, and to spend with friends, even in the middle of a hectic project. Now that we do not have those pressures, things are much easier in many respects, but it is unclear that we are happier. We are more relaxed.
If you are content with simple things, then it is probably easier to be happy, because they are easier to have and achieve. Additionally, if one is living a "high power" type life then it is difficult to slow down enough to enjoy the simple things in life. They just take too much time, time which is necessary for the power game.
Overall I think that Epicurus is wrong. I think satisfaction is the key to happiness.
Hope I didn't ramble too much.
Epicurus advocates satisfaction
Which is acheived through the rational pursuit of pleasure. The recommendation of simplicity in no way precludes this.
Success is Self-Defined
I've been thinking on this for a few days. I can't say I've come up with any brilliant insights, though. I'll give you what I got.
Success would appear to be the achievement of some goal. The goal line is set by each individual, so broad definitions of success are moot. Generally, I would say that success (in one's own goals, and not those goals imposed by others) brings happiness. When a goal is achieved and happiness, or the milder contentment, is not achieved, then the goal was apparently not genuinely your own but imposed by someone else.
Simplicity in the material sense, like an Epicurean cabin on Walden Pond, may be some people's idea of success. For others, it is just moving the goal posts and ends up falling short of their true, if unrealized, goals.
Simplicity could be taken in another sense, though. What if simplicity were to mean to discard the imposed goals of others that clutter one's soul. This decluttering, or simplifying, would remove mental disturbances and allow one to focus on their own subjective goals. This is similar to my Spirit Breaking Free progress report here a few months ago when I said that my goal was to eliminate external barriers and mental bugaboos to be able to exert more control over my life. Simplifying in the mental and spiritual sense.
I enjoy and seek out mental stimulation which could be viewed as complications. When I'm sufficiently stimulated, I find happiness. Sometimes that might mean quite meditation sitting under a tree in the woods. Sometimes that means juggling a career, an education, a marriage, and other relationships that are fulfilling. I don't know if Epicurious was speaking literally about ducking-the-radar kind if simplicity or if he was saying to cut the strings of others' influence and focus on what you truly want. Either way, I don't think he'd mind if we interpreted it how we saw fit.
I would have to agree with
I would have to agree with what you say almost entirely, PofS, and have been thinking along those lines myself, except for one thing. You say, "When a goal is achieved and happiness, or the milder contentment, is not achieved, then the goal was apparently not genuinely your own but imposed by someone else."
It might be the goal was your own, but was *the wrong goal* -- not right for you. That would take place if your thinking was confused philosophically, perhaps too subjective at that moment, or complicated by external factors not of your own making.
I like and believe firmly that simplicity is throwing off the influences of others; whether that discarding is political, financial, emotional, material, or actual pushing away, it is getting rid of the rest of the world (to some degree or other) that makes for simplicity in our lives.
You can still agree
I was thinking about goals being the wrong goals when I wrote that. The conclusion I came to was that the wrong goal was mostly likely chosen due to undue interference by outside influences. As we simplify (great definition, btw) then our thoughts become clearer and allow us to see the real goals or the right goals for us, anyway. So I think you can still agree with me.
P.S. Thanks for including the "f" in PofS. PoS is fine, but just a little unsettling!
P.P.S. Have you thought about what the soul is?
We are in synch
"So I think you can still agree with me."
Yes, I do -- completely; we are in synch.
And many of us are so stressed, or just so busy multi-tasking, that we don't have/take the time or energy to think what we do want or how to achieve it. This kills happiness, and it hides (from ourselves) the means to determine what is a successful life.
"P.P.S. Have you thought about what the soul is?"
Yes, I have. :-)
But I'm still thinking...
a successful life?
A lot has been added to this discussion already: all providing much food for thought.
For me personally, it is simple: to be all that I could possibly be, as I define it, not the state or anyone else.
D'Accord
I agree that this discussion is very thought-provoking and also that what constitutes a successful life is pretty much determined by each individual. My spouse spends a great deal of time worrying that she's not living up to her family's/society's definition of success and it saps a lot of her energy and happiness.